GIVING ADVICE TO FRIENDS….

This FRIENDS series that I am writing about is really proving to be good for my mental health.

It so happens that whenever I am interacting or talking to others, now there are certain traits or habits that strike me more than before. I am more aware of many more things than earlier, and this is helping me with my understanding of people, helping me be more in control of my life and my feelings for events happening around me. 

Just this morning as I was having my morning cup of tea with my hubby, He mentioned how one of his friends always calls him up when he is in on a crossroads of some serious issue in his life and likes him to give his friend a little piece of advice and that’s what made me write this post, just as soon as I got time to do so..

Friends Hanging Out -

photo source

It made me think of my two closest friends one, who has been through school with me and the other through the last years of college.. We are not a group but I have my individual friendship with both of them and hence I have to deal with them individually and not as a group (which is a different type of friendship management when you go out with a group).

We have seen each other grow, get married, had kids and now the kids are ready to find their own wings, we have known each other’s nature, habits , ups and downs (not that we can meet regularly . it’s always once  in a year or so).

Now to the main topic , I realized today morning while speaking to my  hubby that It always happens that one of the friends calls me up to consult me or you can say when she wants someone to listen to her and talk .. And she is the one who will listen to me when I comment on her talk and tell her what I feel, so the conversation is at a stable level rarely do we argue over what we say. Here I will also say that when one gives advice the other person listens but it’s not necessary that he will follow your advice. He can still have his own mind and do what he wants but at least he has listened to you, he has given your thoughts your feeling enough respect that he should want to listen to you and he feels that what you think is wise enough to be heard and after doing that and has thought of the various options and then decided what is right for him and that’s fair according to me.

Friends -

source

On the other hand, this other friend who is also a great friend will have lots of things to tell, where I am supposed to listen.. but but she never likes to take any advice  and that’s because she thinks she is wiser than me and that she knows more than me. And that makes her averse to listening to what the other is telling.

These type of people who feel that they know everything and that they are the best, cannot take advice from others, try look down upon what you have to say and always have these words like.. “You don’t have to tell me that”

“I know this is right for me” and there is more of “I” in their conversation. when they talk you know that they are doing so not to share but to applaud their own achievements or actions” so beware of such traits and if you want  to continue with your friendship in spite of this trait learn to keep away from giving any free advice . Just listen and tell when asked for (which will never happen).

                                                           

 Please comment and tell me about your experiences.

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